In my previous post, I wrote out some of the new rules that I hope will go towards redefining my 34th year.

1. No social media, except for Fridays
2. No news sites, at all – at least for now
3. Run 1 day a week
4. Get on my yoga mat 1 day a week

— once I began writing, it became clear that I had many a thought to put down to paper about this rule. So I’m going to split out each point to a separate post.

#1 No social media, except Fridays

So original, I know. How many times have you quit social media? Or should I say, tried to quit social media. Personally, it’s been more than once, and it hasn’t really worked.

If you’d stumbled upon this blog, then perhaps you too have gone down the rabbit-hole of YouTube video essays and news articles about how bad social media is for us, how it is damaging the next generation, and in fact anti-social media. One of my favourite authors, Cal Newport, goes into this in depth in his best seller and TedTalk. (Maybe I’ll link it if I get around to it, but you have Google, and I’ll be damned if I let linking content in this blog be my next distraction to writing this post).

Why do so many of us fail to quit?

For me personally, the general advice has never worked. “Just put a limit” well, we all know you can just ignore those limits. “Delete the app!” Ok, I’ll view it in the browser. “Just delete your account!” I haven’t the strength for that, and from what I’ve read you have a 30er you grace period to reactivate so we all know how that will go.

It’s pretty simple really.

Lie.

We lie to ourselves and trick ourselves into giving ourselves permission. (See, I am not a writer, that sentence makes my tongue twist too!) We either place rules that are too strict, and when we can’t meet those rules, throw in the towel. It reminds me of toxic diet culture… Just one cookie (one look) and it is a slippery slope to the whole cookie jar (2hrs later still scrolling). We hate ourselves for it, pronounce our social-media free life a failure, and give in to our devices. (See what I did there?)

So, how did you quit?

As it is for many – I’d say, the vast majority – of us, social mediais an addiction. I am an addict, and I always will be one. Going completely cold turkey is not an option right now; with the sheer number of connections and valuable communities I am a part of on social media, deleting my accounts feels all too much.

What I have committed to, is to stop lying to myself like I used to and pretending that deleting apps means I have left social media.

By reframing social media and my relationship with it, I think I have cracked the code for removing myself from it.

1. Make my phone into a visually dumb phone — I have removed the color, notifications, and dopamine hit of opening my phone
2. Give myself a window each week to check my socials — while I still feel a sense of missing out, I know I will get a chance to catch up
3. Embrace boredom — standing in a queue, catching the bus, nursing your child to bed, eating lunch home alone… sitting on the toilet… these are chances to be bored and allow your brain to wander. It was and still is awkward.
4. Expose myself daily to information supporting my decision — the more I rewire my brain that social media is bad, the more I have been able to step away and not want to open my apps
5. Don’t worry if I stumble — some days I have found myself on Reddit unintentionally, as a Google search has led me there. I’ve also been on Instagram to check cafe open details and Facebook to scroll for no reason.
6. Last but not least, don’t lie to myself — if an app or site has as infinite scroll, the it is probably something I need to quit.

How is it going?

It has been about 10 days. Only 10 days? How do you know you have quit?

Well, that’s the thing, I haven’t. I have changed my relationship with social media so that it doesn’t take away from my life nearly as much as it used to.

Unfortunately my iPhone is not allowing me to see historical data, but I was in the ballpark of ~4-5hrs screen time per day. 1hr in the morning, 1hr lunch break, and here and there between kids pickup and bedtime. Then 2hrs of rotting on the couch before bed.

My screen time on Thursday was 1hr 17 mins.

On Friday morning I tried out Facebook and Instagram, and few things shocked me. It was boring! It was still a time suck! And biggest of all, I didn’t miss anything, and no one missed me!

— Ok, that’s enough writing for now. 2% battery, so it’s time to publish and head home to my babies.